…FINE…

My true feelings
On a torn paper
Are getting clear Somethin’ bout you
Yeah You look like me but different somehow
I wonder if you feel the way as I do
There’s no hope but I expect it
After a day, a month and a year,
We would live different lives

No I’m not
I don’t think it’ll be easy for me
You still fill my days
No not yet
I’m repeating like a fool
I can’t hold the words lingering on my lips
It’s not fine
Ah- Ah- Ah- Ah-
It’s not fine

Tying my hair back,
I’m cleaning the mess in my room
I’m looking for Somethin’ new
Sometimes I just move
Feeling like I can’t handle it
Or like I have to do something
After a day, a month, and a year, by then
I thought I could recall it with a smile

No I’m not
I don’t think it’ll be easy for me
You still fill my days
No not yet
I’m repeating like a fool
I can’t hold the words lingering on my lips
It’s not fine
Ah- Ah- Ah- Ah-
It’s not fine

Meaningless jokes Small talks
I look fine in a crowd
I’m pretending to be fine with a smile on my face
I try not to think of the shadow called “you”

I can’t help thinking of our last moment
The parting that “Take care” was all of it

No not yet
The words I repeat like a fool
I can’t hold the words lingering on my lips
It’s not fine
Ah- Ah- Ah-
It’s not fine
Ah- Ah- Ah-
It’s not fine

 

FINE – TAEYEON


eng… anu…
Sebelumnya saya klarifikasi dulu,,,
saya ga lagi galau kok…
cuman kebetulan aja lagi nyari arti lagunya punya si oom tatang ini…

somehow liriknya langsung ngena ke jiwa raga..

obviously beneran ITS NOT FINE!

well, at least I tried my best,
walopun kesannya saya galau ato ga bisa move on..
sebenernya sedikit demi sedikit uda ga sesakit dulu kok..
udah 8 taonan juga… tapi ya pasti masih ada lah yg mengganjel di hati
either my guilty feelings atau apalah..
yang sampe sekarang saya juga ga bisa mendeskripsikannya..

dan yang nyebelinnya pas ngetik ini, backsoundnya malah LOSER nya BIG BANG
nanti saja, untuk lagu itu saya post belakangan..

buat orang yg cuman tau seliwat mah pasti akan bilang
“tinggal move on gampang keles”
jujur aja kl orang ngomong gitu rasanya pengen gw tempeleng pake papan baliho..
situ kata segampang itu…
buat situ gampang karna situ ga tau akarrrrr permasalahannya..

honestly, Im affraid sihh.. takut kl move on akan keilangan seorang teman..
seorang yang udah tau dan ngertiin gw bolak balik,,
*walopun dengan terpaksa* tanya aja orangnya..
mulai dari mood bae ampe mood sesampah apapun..
and I feel sorry for that..

yg bikin gagal move on tuh karena uda terbiasa ada dia…
and no one knows me like you do!

itu yg paling susah….

 

 

Cassis

I repeated it for a long time.
I made you sad for a long time.
I must have hurt you. Now I still cannot move.
Why is it so painful to touch you?
I think it is because I was afraid of making the same mistake and losing you.

I tried to recover the unforgettable days to stay close to each other.
You hold my hand without asking anything.

Even if you don’t love me tomorrow, I must love you as I do now.
Even if you don’t see me tomorrow, I must love you as I do now.
I will walk together, the future not promised
It keeps walking together, to the future in which you are…

I love you so much that I forget any suffering.
My heart feels pain every time I count the days we cannot meet.

The loneliness is piling up. Please don’t cry alone.
Even if we are so far away, we can believe each other.

I wish to smile as it is. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.
I don’t want to repeat such feelings, which have kept fading each time.
Even if you don’t love me tomorrow, I must love you as I do now.
Even if you don’t see me tomorrow, I must love you as I do now.
Please, only look at me. Please, don’t let our hands separate.
I will walk together, the future not promised
It keeps walking together, to the future in which you are…
—————————————————————-

Jadi ceritanya saya cuman iseng yutuban ngeliat mv nya tiffany yg i just wanna dance..
Entah kenapa di suggestion nongol si im sick bcause luv u nya lynch..
Pikir2 boljug lah nostalgila sebentar..
Dannn
Oh my
They are so cool u know..
Dari yg awalnya bilang bentar, sekarang malah lagi streaming cassis..
Ok, jadi dari lynch gw ke sadie, dan berujung di gazette..
Cassis ini..
Mewakili perasaan gw malam ini..
Ditambah lagi …
Pas dengerin lagu ini nongol line dari kamuh..
Dan belum saya buka sampe sekarang..
Honestly, ga dibuka juga ud dapet contekan kamu ngmg apa..
U ask me what do I want for my bday..
The saddest part is, I never change my wish since I’ve known u..
Or maybe since I realize that I love u..
A wish that always I said deep down in my heart everytime I pray..
And..
I already said my wish to u..
Not sure when..
But one thing I remember, u ask me the same question on my bday few years ago
And I already answered it..
Idk if u remember it or not..
A wish that can never be granted by u..
A wish that can just be a wish..
A wish that can made me sad..
A wish that never change..

walk slowly . . .

Slowly I open my eyes from a long slumber, and your face light up in the dark.
I don’t know how to deal with this drastic change in my life.
I want to get away from this hand that doesn’t belong to me.
But you hold me tight, and said you care about me.

Lifting me up you start talking about the past, dragging our heels on your own.
I listen to your words with a smile, as my vision get blurred in a mist.
You take my hand that was once filled with hesitation,
Walking slowly forward, walking slowly together.

Don’t keep saying I don’t know, don’t keep saying I’m not hurting.
Even the wind that blew past the corner of my lips left with a lingering tender.
Don’t say you will still be with me.
I said nothing, it’s because I’m too quiet.
You held your hands tight, and missed me whispering

Don’t go…

——————————————————————

oke, mood saat ini sedang berada di ambang kegalauan karena lagu man man zou..

hahahaha…

beneran deh…

I’m hurting u know..

really bad..

mungkin kamu nya sih ga sadar..

iya da aku mah apa atuh…

wakakakaka…

eng.. lebih tepatnya..

kami semua tersakiti..

oleh orang2 yang bersikap baik hanya di depannya aja…

atau karena ngerasa ga enakan…

apa susahnya sih menolak sesuatu kalau emg kalian ga suka..

apa susahnya ngungkapin kalau kalian ga setuju atau mau nolak ?

semakin kalian ngerasa ga enak, semakin kami (orang baperan ) merasa tersakiti..

kamuh ga sadar kan baeee… segimana udah nyakitin??

segimana pas itu saya lagi down dan berharap u were there to cheer me up

but what did u do?

u did not spend ur time with me..

not even come to me when I’m on my mourning condition..

i know, that i cant always hope for you to be there..

but at least…

not at that time bae…….

it hurts baeeeee..

*nyanyi sakitnya tuh disini*

I said to myself that I’ve had enough with u sih bae..

Waloupun skrg I have somebody else..

Tetep aja kayany ga pool kalo yg kemaren ini ga ditumpahin kedalam tulisan..

mulai dari kejadian terakhir kita ketemu…

walopun saya udah bilang its ok, tapi entah kenapa tetep berasa nyesek loh bae….

nyesek kalo inget segimana saya udah nyiapin semuanya, walaupun u didnt ask for that..

harusnya kamu sadar ya segampang itu kamu nyakitin saya…

dan segampang itu pula kamu minta maaf…

padahal dulu kamu sendiri yang pernah bilang..

kalau apa yg pernah saya lakuin itu ibarat nancepin paku ke kamu…

berapakalipun saya bilang maaf mungkin bisa kamu maafin

tapi bekasnya itu akan selalu ada dan bertambah..

mungkin kamu lupa pernah bilang gitu yaaa…

sekali lagi saya nulis ini bukan karena masih berharap sama kamu..

tapi lebih karena saya berharap bisa ngeluarin unek2 ini aja..

karena saya tau..

berharap ke kamu itu selalu diakhiri dengan kekecewaan saya yang makin dalam..

suka lucu kalau dipikir2

ketika dulu saya pergi, kamu yang menahan saya buat ga pergi..

ketika dulu saya sudah bisa nerima kalau emg kamu gakan ada lagi sama saya

kamu datang lagi dan membuat saya berharap

dan pada akhirnya, kamu juga yg menghancurkan harapan itu..

dengan semua keegoisan kamu yang disambut baik dengan kesinisan saya..

andai saya bisa bilang ke kamu saya kaya cinta bilang ke rangga

“rangga, apa yang kamu lakukan ke saya itu jahat….”

mungkin akan lebih gampang kali ya,,

tapi kita kan ga lagi di pelem2 macam itu..

yang endingnya bisa ketebak…

saya ga pernah tau akan jadi apa hubungan kita ke depan..

percaya deh bae…

kalau saya bisa muter balikin ini waktu ya…

saya milih untuk ga kenal kamu..

its better for both of us..

dan sayangnya saya ga bisa ngelakuin itu..

yang saya bisa lakuin untuk saat ini hanyalah,

mencoba untuk tidak berharap lagi ke kamu…

 

10.05.16

bgm : Xu Wei Zhou – Walk Slowly (Man Man Zhou)

linkhttps: //youtu.be/vKU_347tRws

 

 

 

. . . And Goodbye . . .

Words that your small lips first said to me

Hello, those words were so nice to hear

I think that’s when we started

I think that’s when we became a we

When I walked you home

And was going to go back

Words that made my heart flutter

Now goodbye goodbye

Goodbye, goodbye, the words goodbye

It doesn’t mean the end

Because we’re under the same sky

Goodbye, goodbye, I say goodbye

But in my heart, only you live

It was a short time but there were so many memories

Love that never changes is always touching

Today isn’t the end

Got it? So don’t cry

Where you are in the world

I can find you

So don’t worry

Just for a moment, goodbye goodbye

Goodbye, goodbye, the words goodbye

It doesn’t mean the end

Because we’re under the same sky

Goodbye, goodbye, I say goodbye

But in my heart, only you live

Don’t forget me, don’t forget me, don’t forget me

Don’t forget me, don’t forget me

Even after spring days without me pass

Goodbye, goodbye, I say goodbye

But my heart will always blossom a flower that resembles you

I love you, I love you, the words I love you

Only you and no one else will hear them

Cerita tentang si hati dan si otak..

Once upin a time,
Si otak ngeluh ke hati..
“ah, gw bosen nihhh… Terlalu biasa aja, gada yg menarik lagi..” kata otak..
Si hati cuman cengar cengir dan bilang, “gapapa gapapa.. Kita nikmatin dulu aja suasana sekarang”
Well, akhirnya si otak pun menikmati kebosanannya..
Hingga pada suatu saat, datanglah si kesempatan..

“oi tak, gw mau ngasi lu tantangab nih.. Game gitu lahh.. Seperti yg kmrn tp bedanya yg ini maybe lebih gampang.. Lumayan buat ngatasin kebosanan.. ” kata si kesempatan.
Otak mikir apakah dia harus nerima tantangan itu, karena kalau dia menerima tantangan itu, berarti dia akan membuat suatu manipulasi yg bisa menyebabkan si hati lainyya yg sakit..
Tapi karena otak sedang bosan dia pun menerima tawaran tersebut dan dia sudah mengultimatum kalau dia tidak akan menyakiti hati manapun..
Sebulan pertama, hati berkata pada otak, “udahin aja deh, kesian hati yg lain.. Toh nanti kalo diterusin gw dan hati lainnya yg sakit bukan elu..”
Otak pun menjawab , “ga ah, lagi seru.. Sayang kalo ditinggalin gitu aja, tenang aja lah gw gakan nyakitin siapapun.. ”
Sekeras apapun hati mengingatkan otak, namun akhirnya ia mengalah..
Lama kelamaan, otak mulai bosan, karena menurutnya tantangan itu sudah bisa ditaklukan hanya tinggal menjaganya saja.. Namun hati mencegah otak karena hati sudah teramat sayang pada hati lainnya..
Hingga pada suati hari, otak lainnya pun mengakhiri tantangan tersebut, bagi otak, yasudahlah.. Toh sudah berhasil dimiliki dan ditaklukan..
Tapi tanpa otak sadari, ia menusuk hati dan membuat ia tersakiti..
Hati tidak bisa melupakan apa yg telah mereka perbuat dan terlarut dalam kesedihannya…
Otak merasa bersalah melihat hati teramat sedih..
Sudah berjalan 4 tahun sejak hari itu, dan hati masih tidak dapat melupakan kesedihannya..
Apa yg otak lakukan?
Ia hanya dapat merasa bersalah dan menyesali segalanya.. Ia hanya dapat mengutuk dan berharap ia tidak pernah melakukan hal tersebut…
Dan..
Mungkin…
Hanya waktu yg bisa menyembuhkan hati dari sakitnya…

================================
Its true that I only tried to make u mine and then I did have intention to leave u..
I gave 3months to myself to play with u..
But, i already fall into ur trap..
My real intention is only to spent my boring life with u, and make a research..
About love..
Which is made me falling to u, deeper and deeper again..
If i could turn back the time, I swear I wont start that chat with u at all.. Because it only bring pain to us..
As much as i love u, i really want u to be happy with someone who trully love u..
But my ego is big, i still wish u to be mine..
The sad part about this fucking ego is i hurt u.. A lot..
I hurt u with my words.. I hate u with my attitude..
When i decided to end this shit, u hold me.. U asked me to stay..
At that time, i think maybe we can be together, and once again, Im wrong..
It only made me feel so insecure towards u..
And that day happen, when my friends asking me about u, abput us..
I tell them everything..
And then, theres a deal with them..
They want me to move on if u didnt contact me for 1mos..
Bur i must block ur account to make u cant contact me..
I dont know how.. But u did contact me..
And here i am,, still confuse about my heart..my feeling.. What should i do now?
Do i have to say goodbye?
Or do i have to make it everything alright again like in the past?
Can u at least tell whats in ur mind to me?
What ur heart say about me..
So i can make a decision..

To you, the one that i love and miss so much..

Why did I fall in love with you?

Why did I end up falling for you?
No matter how much time has passed,
I thought that you would always be here

But you have chosen a different path

Why wasn’t I able to convey to you?
My feelings that were growing everyday and night
The words begin to overflow
But now I know
they will never reach you

Since the first day when I met you
I felt like I knew you
And the two of us melded together so naturally
Wherever we would go, it would be together
It was so natural for you to be with me
We became adults together

But you chose a different road

Why did I end up falling for you?
No matter how much time has passed,
I thought that you would always be here but not anymore

Today, the day that holds a special meaning
The day you stood with a smile of happiness
Praying to God in your beautiful appearance
With a person next to you who is not me
The image of you receiving blessings
How could I just stand aside and watch?

So why did I end up falling for you?
We cant go back to that time,
or how we were
I’ve thought it through

Why wasnt I able to take your hand?
No matter how much time passes
You always should’ve been by my side
Now it will never come true

But, even though I say that I need you close to me
I just pray that you will be happy forever
No matter how lonely and sad
that makes me
————————————————————-

wae oh wae….